What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can I color on your dick again?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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