They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
