sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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