I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
