Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
