Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
