How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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