My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
