I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
