The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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