Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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