I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
