I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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