Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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