then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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