so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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