he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
