I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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