Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
