I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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