I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
