"it" just moved
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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