Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
