You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
