you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
