i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
