so let's talk penis.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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