I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
