Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
nutella sex= disaster
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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