a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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