i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
