i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
