i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize