He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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