I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
