dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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