So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We are all done wearing pants today
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
