so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
