just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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