Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize