Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
