I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
