How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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