You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
