If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
