got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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