i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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