I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
