I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
