He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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