I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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