Got a toothbrush?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have aggressive nipples.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
